Re-Learning Christmas

It's that time of year when many of us find ourselves in and out, and in and out again, of many stores, searching for parking spots and wondering, when will this be done?! A season of giving. And yet sometimes I need to stop, take a deep breath and remember why it is that we give. That it is better to give than receive. 

A couple years into marriage, Nate and I stopped, took a deep breath and seriously evaluated the way that we treat Christmas.  Are we getting too wrapped up in all the wrapping and bows? Too taken in by finding just the right gifts, those chart topping, great gifts? What we found when we stopped and took an honest look at ourselves is that we were forgetting one very important thing.

 

We were forgetting the most perfect and greatest of gifts that was already given.

The joy that inspired a tradition of remembrance through giving. 

 

We forgot to remember.  And so, we made the decision to change HOW we give. We chose to remember WHY we give. For our family and friends it meant that gifts from us were different (and we hoped that they would appreciate our personal touch).

We don't make gifts the way we did during those years. And this year, if you saw the items wrapped and sitting by our tree, you might not know how I am different now in comparison to seven or eight years ago. But there is a fundamental difference now in how my heart approaches Christmas and all it's twinkle.  Those few years taught me deep in my soul that we celebrate because of this...

For God so loved the world that he GAVE his child.

We celebrate and remember that we have already been given God's greatest gift.

That's all good and sounds great, right?  Yeah, I thought so too. I thought during those years that we chose to do Christmas differently that I learned to really appreciate more deeply and receive more graciously. While all that is true and it did change me (us), what I didn't know was what I had yet to learn. 

And then God turned our world upside down. One year ago we moved through the joy of Christmas with a twinge of pain and grief.  The little girl we hoped to adopt did not end up coming home with us.  Just days before Christmas we left a hospital with an empty car seat sitting behind us as we drove home. While we celebrated the beauty of a mother choosing to provide, for us those days were bittersweet.

But this year we do not mourn. We do not grieve or try to let go of pain. This year we celebrate. This year we grasp the FULL, joyous truth of what it means to have hope fulfilled. To CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS! 

For unto us a child is born. Unto us a child is GIVEN! 

 

This Christmas we experience the gift of a child.

This is not a child that we bore from our own bodies. She came in her own perfect timing, in a way that we did not plan and from a place that we did not expect. 

Someone else's child, given and entrusted to us. 

This year I learn, sometimes it is actually better to receive than give. 

Photos, Families and Fundraisers

I am so excited to announce our next fundraiser event not only because we continue forward in our adoption journey with Moriah, but also because this event is made possible by a dear friend, Suzy, and I am excited to be able to introduce her work to you.

Photo Shoot Adoption Fundraiser

courtesy of

Saturday, September 14, 2013

The event will be held outside in the Mill City/St Anthony Main area and each twenty minute session has a minimum suggested donation of $60. Sessions will be available throughout the daystarting at 9am until 7pm.  While so far we know of many families who have expressed interest in this event, but it is open to anyone who would like to participate and reserve a session.

If you would like to see some of Suzy's work, you can see it here on her Facebook page. (Sorry, the website is currently under construction but will be available soon).

If you have more questions and/or are interested in reserving a session please feel free to comment below or contact Jenny Kemper at 651.295.4050.

4:55:19

Just under 5 hours...that is how long it took for one amazing husband and father to run from Two Harbors to Duluth. That 26.2 miles is also known as Grandma's Marathon. He did it! He finished the marathon...and amazingly could not only walk the next day, but played in a soccer game!

Way to go Nate! Your wife and daughter (and so many others) are so proud of you!!!

Here's a quick recap of how that day went:

Nate got up and went to meet the bus that would bring him to the starting line too early to be called anything but ungodly.  Seriously....it was early. It was only about 45-50 degrees when the race began and the wind was at the runners' backs the entire race so for them, it was great. Not ideal conditions for those of us cheering, but we weren't doing all the hard work, so I can't complain.

My (Jenny's) parents and sister also made the drive up to Duluth that Saturday to help cheer on Nate as he ran. Together we made it to four different mile markers along the race including the finish line.

And you can see that Moriah was a trooper that day. She got taken out of her crib at 4 am to be put in the car for almost 3 hours. When she got to Duluth it was cold and rainy and she was in and out of the carrier and car seat all day. No good naps and feedings as best we could along the way.  Seriously, couldn't ask for a better baby! She's amazing!

Of course, it wasn't all work and no play.  We (Nate and Jenny) went up to Duluth on Thursday evening and checked into our lovely accommodations at the University of Minnesota Duluth dorms! (Can we say, second honeymoon, anyone?!)  We didn't think a dorm room was ideal with six-month-old so we begged and pleaded and finally Grandma and Grandpa Kissel (my parents), graciously agreed to take their granddaughter for a couple days.  Ok, really they had already said that they were thinking of driving up to come cheer on Nate and I offered to let them take Moriah for a couple days to sweeten the deal--Moriah gets to spend Thursday and Friday with her Grandparents, they drive her up to meet us on Saturday and we all cheer on Nate together!

The added bonus: Nate and I had a full day in Duluth just the two of us to do whatever we wanted! (Plus, this was our first overnight away from Moriah.) So, after picking up his race packet we got some lunch, went to a movie, walked around a bit, got out for dinner, and then caught up on some TV shows online while back in our luxurious...dorm room. Ok, the dorm room was just a place to sleep at best, but it was great to get away.

Thank you Grandma and Grandpa Kissel for not only taking your granddaughter for a couple days, but also for making the trip up to Duluth. Dad, thank you for driving around and parking in lots of not-so-easy-to-park-in places. Thank you Kristi, for joining us and remembering to take pictures of the day. Thank you Moriah for being the best little trooper.

THANK YOU DONORS for donating in support of Moriah's adoption through Nate's run in Grandma's Marathon!!!!! You didn't have to give, but we accept your generosity with appreciation and humility. In the end, we know that it is God who ultimately provides. But we also believe that he often chooses to provide through people. We are thankful for your support. And while we still have a long journey ahead of us, every gift is a blessing and reminder to keep moving forward.

Thank you all, again!

Moving Forward in 2013

I don’t know how to write this post without backtracking to the beginning of Moriah’s adoption story. 

On January 3^rd, we received the call that made adopting Moriah an option.  We decided that the risk involved (we knew little details at this point) was worth it.  And that decision started a number of phone calls.  Phone calls that if they went positively would end up with us being parents to the beautiful child that spoils us so much…and had they gone negatively, would have had us calling the lawyer the next morning to tell him we wouldn’t be able to work out all the details.

We decided at that point to multi-task, and each of us were making separate phone calls.  In the midst of those few short hours, we needed to find out if we could have all of the legal paperwork in order by noon the next day, and if we could have everything financially in order in two business days.

It was hard to know how to start the financial conversations. We had been prepared for the Minnesota adoption and had that amount covered. But interstate adoptions are much more expensive and the additional amount was more than we were prepared for.  How do you ask for a modest year’s wage over the phone?  How in asking for that do you see if it is possible to have it in your personal checking account by the next day?  We had thought we’d be engaging in an international process that would still have a year or more of time for us to do fundraising, and instead we had hours.  We didn’t have the fundraiser in our back pocket that raised that much money and could be done in an hour.  We just had a phone.

We found at this time of the story, like every other step, that God’s mercy and blessings were in our favor, and like most other steps, that they were seen through the actions of others.  And so, we felt release to move forward in this adoption process.  Release to walk through the next few days, weeks, and months confident in the God who had provided.  And as those days, weeks, and months passed, we celebrated our daughter, we celebrated our blessing, we celebrated a God who had provided. 

And while that celebration continues, that small quiet part of our spirit has become louder.  The discomfort of the phone call, and the implications on the people who picked up the other end of it remain present in our thoughts, our plans, and our prayers.

We didn’t have time in the few short hours to fundraise.  We didn’t have time to put our own efforts into the way in which we’d ask for support in our adoption journey.  But now we do. 

We’ll be clear…we still know we are asking people to support us.  And we know that the primary way this financial support will happen has little to do with our efforts and much to do with the generosity of people we know and care for.  But we have found some ways we can exert our effort while inviting you to support us financially.  We found things we can do, while we ask you to give. 

So here is our hope.  We’ll do stuff.  And if in the process you give, we’ll use that money to repay those who took on more of a burden than they had planned, who gave us the gift of pursuing Moriah on the riskiest adventure we’ll ever take, and who deserve not to have to hold that burden alone.

If by the grace of God, we raise more money than necessary for that end, we can guarantee that all money given will be used for adoption costs.  Whether our own future adoption, or towards someone else’s, none of the money will be used for anything except the financial burdens that come alongside an adoption process.

The first fundraiser is immediately upon us, and this is your fair warning that you’ll hear us talking about these over the next few weeks and months.  For explanations on what to expect, please read below:

Grandma’s Marathon 2013

On June 22^nd Nate will be getting up earlier than he likes, to run longer than he enjoys—26.2 miles to be exact. In 2007 he ran the Twin Cities Marathon and vowed that he would never run a marathon again…unless there was a cause. Well, needless to say, there is a precious cause worth running for, and he has been putting those running shoes on for the last few months in preparation for Grandma’s Marathon.

How can you get involved?  Support his run by giving a financial gift.  For many of you who see us regularly, we would love to see you, talk with you and accept any donations you feel led to give. For anyone who wants to support Nate’s run and you may not see us or want to give online there is a link to give on the right hand side of the blog.

 

Capture the Smiles Day

A very generous friend…and amazing photographer…has offered her services for a day and 100% proceeds will go directly towards Moriah’s adoption costs. You can get some amazing shots at a great deal.  We have not yet confirmed the exact date for this yet, but we are expecting late summer to early fall (so if you’re also thinking ahead to family Christmas cards, we’ll have you covered for photos).

More information about this will be coming when details are available.

 

Nate is Writing a Book!

Many of you have been asking, when will Nate finally be writing a book? Well, the day is upon us…or at least it is quickly approaching. There isn’t a solidified title yet, but the book will be more on a faith/spirituality focus. We will keep you updated on more information about the book and an expected release date as that information is available.

 

 

For now, these are our plans. We still believe that God is providing for our family. We also believe that God often chooses to use people to bless people, and so we are humbly asking for your help and participation.  There is a link on the right hand side of this blog. You may give there electronically or you may give donations directly to us if that is what you prefer.

Please feel free to ask us any questions and we will keep you all updated on these events as we move forward.

With all our gratitude and love

Nate, Jenny & Moriah Kemper

The Latest In Development

The other day, Little Peanut said, 

"Mom, look what I can do!"

And then she proceeded to do this:

Yep, she's pretty proud of herself.

Thankfully we are only going in one direction, but looks like pretty soon we will need to be moving a few things around in the house. This girl looks like she's got her daddy's eyes (mischievous eyes).

Almost Two Months!?!

Little Miss is almost two months old, and we can hardly believe it. It doesn't feel like more than a month has passed since we first brought her home. Since the last post we made was from Florida, here is a quick update of our arrival home in Minnesota.

We had to stay in Florida until the interstate adoption people gave us clearance to leave the state with her.  On the last post I asked that we be able to travel home together so that I (Jenny) would not be traveling through an airport alone with an infant. Thank you for praying. We had originally booked flights home for Saturday January 19 assuming that we would just change them if need be. Well, on Thursday January 17 we got the message that we were cleared to leave Florida. For logistical and cost reasons we decided to stay in Florida the extra two days, but YAY! we all got to fly home together.

The only sad part was that we didn't arrive into Minneapolis until 10:30PM so we weren't able to have all our family meet us at the airport. Instead we got to introduce Moriah to our immediate families over the next couple days.  Pop Pop (Nate's Dad) picked us up at the airport so he got to meet her first.

We still have a few things to complete before the finalization hearing can happen with the Florida courts.  We will need to complete three in home visits with our social worker, one every 30 days. The first meeting went well and we look forward to the other two in March and April. After those meetings are done we can file for a finalization hearing which we should be able to do by teleconference (saving a trip to Florida again).

While she is still a little peanut (she is still wearing newborn size clothes and when I try 0-3 month clothes she is swimming), it is amazing to me how much she really has grown. We have a doctor appointment this week where we will find out just how much. To me she seems so big, and then we hang out with other babies born just days before her and she looks tiny again.  

Lots of you (family) have been asking for updated pictures. So to end this post, here are a few that we took this last week.

Staying Warm in Florida!

Hello everyone!  Don't worry, this one will not be as long as the last one. =}

Moriah is doing great and enjoying life (as far as we can tell at least).  She has already had her first road trip and her first Chick-fil-A experience. On Thursday we left the Miami area and drove up to Orlando. We took it slow with a  long lunch at Chick-fil-A. She did great, sleeping pretty much the whole time we were in the car and ate while we were already stopped for lunch. And, of course, her first family vacation in Orlando.

The continued blessings keep flowing (as if adding a daughter to our family wasn't blessing enough). We intended on finding an extended stay type of hotel or condo to rent, but in couldn't find any in Miami area that were affordable. Thankfully, a friend was able to connect us with someone who donated a week at a timeshare in Orlando. So, we drove up to Orlando.  We cannot say thank you enough to have such a nice place to stay while we are here.

Other firsts: She has been on her first Marshall's run. Like her Mama she had a huge smile on her face while there. She even showed it again when we told the cashier that it would become her favorite store too. She has also been to Disney....ok, not really Disney World. We went to find some dinner last night and decided to stop at Downtown Disney. We walked around for a short bit, and she still slept through most of it.

Some people have been asking for prayer requests and if there is anything we need. Most obvious right now is still that we would like the legal process to continue smoothly so that we can all fly home in about a week.  Please continue to pray for this...I (Jenny) do not really want to travel through airports alone with baby and all our stuff.

Sorry, I don't have pictures here but we will post some again soon.

Fearful, Wonderful, Secret

 

 

 (sorry for formatting problems that may show up, hotel internet not co-operating)

 

 

 

Much like adoption, this post will be long but worth it!  I’d encourage you to read the whole thing and not just skip to the end, because the story is beautiful, and if you make it through, we’d love to introduce you to the girl filling these shoes:

Our adoption blog has always been based on some of the verses from Psalm 139:

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

We have felt God’s leading in this process, and we can attest it has been Fearful, Wonderful, and Secret, but God has been guiding it…and we’d love to tell share that story with you.

We last left off understanding our repetitive cycle: Hope, anxiety, grief, processing.

After changing from Columbia to domestic and having that adoption fall through, we spent December grieving and processing, looking at January to begin the cycle again by entering hope.  Our plan…call the social worker and re-engage in the Columbian process, and we planned to do that late last week.

But Columbia was known to us, and we were being led to something secret.  And so the whirlwind began.

Thursday afternoon at 4:00 Jenny got a phone call from a friend of a friend, whose name we knew but whom we had never formally met.  Jenny then called me at 4:30.

These were the details: There is a baby in Miami that needs placement quick.  It would require a bunch of legal hoops, logistical hoops and financial hoops, but if we were willing to clear our schedules for a few weeks and try, there is a chance we could become parents quickly.  And so we took the risk.

Indebted to many who made it possible, we traveled to Miami on Saturday morning and by early afternoon we were at the hospital meeting baby. 

She was born on December 30^th, so we met her as she was just 6 days old.  From that point on we began caring for her at the hospital, showing up for her feedings and playing with her until she slept again, then leaving to run errands and try to get the legal process in order.

This schedule had its moments of frustration, but they were always brushed aside by the immense joy and happiness we had while being in the room with her.

And so the days came and went, hotel for a few minutes, hospital, lawyer’s office, hospital, shopping, hospital, food, hospital, hotel.  Discharge continually delayed by different people or things trying to figure out if we had jumped through all the appropriate hoops.

The days had their fear, they were filled with wonder, and for the most part, they were kept secret, protecting ourselves and our friends from the highs and lows that would come with another quick cycle of grief if things went bad.

All the while wondering as we changed diapers and fed bottles, is this our daughter?  She feels like our daughter, smells like our daughter, in some ways even looks like our daughter (the nurses think she has my nose), and we immediately loved her like our daughter.  We spent four days seeing her face when we would close our eyes, hoping we’d always be able to see it when we opened them.

But we’ve been at a hospital before, and we didn’t leave with that baby, and so we wondered, can this be real?

During that time, we were pestered by family with the curious questions:

She was born weighing 5lb. 12oz. at 18 inches long (at 2:18 p.m. for the really curious)

She has dark hair now and what we think will become blue eyes.

And she is precious, the calmest healthiest baby you could ever ask for.

We were only holding out on their questions as they would ask us for a name.

5 hours ago (as of this writing), we got to leave the hospital with her.  God’s secret place where He had formed this child finally became known to us.  Miami is the place.  And while the legal process continues to get worked out, we are forced into our first family vacation, in beautiful Florida, in 80 degree weather in the middle of January.

But let’s continue: so we finally called the family with the name.

But there is a story with that too:

Initially planning for our Columbia adoption (many months ago) we had decided only on a girl’s name.  Assuming we would keep the given Columbian name as the middle name, we knew the first name we would choose. 

When we transferred to domestic (and announced that in October) we knew that baby was a girl.  And we decided that we would have birth mom pick the middle name.

On Saturday as we traveled, we realized that when it came to a daughter, we had never even bothered thinking of a middle name, but the first one we had chosen long ago.

The list of middle names stayed very short, and because of our sarcasm and dry sense of humor was more filled with silly middle names than real ones, but just a few hours before discharge we decided.

Her middle name had to be Hope.  She breaks the cycle and is the fulfillment of the Hope that God has given us throughout the process of trying to start our family.  And now that it is started, her name will reflect that Hope God had placed inside us.

And then there is the first name:

Early in our adoption journey, Jenny was reading the story of Sarah, Abraham, and their son Isaac told in Genesis.  This story is filled with a family praying and waiting for their child together, waiting to start a family, and trusting that God might be able to do something about it.  What they ended up getting was a plan that wasn’t their own, in fact it was one they found laughable at the time, but ultimately God fulfilled their hopes.

After doing so, he asked them to do a strange thing.  Sacrifice that child to him as an offering.  Offer their hope, their promised child to God as an offering.  God’s command is summarized in this way:  Take your son, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah.  Sacrifice him there as an offering on one of the mountains I will talk about.

And so they responded with faith and put their trust in God ahead of their own plans and dreams.

As the story plays out, Abraham is spared from having to offer his child to God, and instead God provides a different offering to be used as worship for Abraham and his son to enjoy together.  In the Hebrew tradition, Abraham then names that mountain based on what has taken place there.  Verse 14 states it this way:

“So Abraham called that place The Lord Will Provide.  And to this day it is said, “On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided.”

Mount Moriah, defined by Abraham as the place where the Lord has provided.

As we talked about this story months ago, we knew.  We knew that if we were ever blessed with a baby girl, we would name her Moriah.  We would name her that because God will have started our family in a way different than we might have planned it on our own.  We would name her that because we would definitively know that our family would not have started had the Lord not provided. 

And now you know.  You know we have a baby girl.  And that her name is Moriah Hope Kemper.  And that the story of our family starting is a beautiful one, beyond our wildest imagination and is a gift given to us by a God who creates all of us Fearfully, Wonderfully, and in His Secret place.

           

Meet Moriah Hope Kemper:

 

 

 

(she left the hospital in the same receiving blanket as I did just over 32 years ago)